


I’m still alive (but barely)

by kurojiri



Series: Drarryland prompt fills [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Drarryland 2019, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Kissing, Love Bites, M/M, secret meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 23:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17949227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurojiri/pseuds/kurojiri
Summary: Harry saw it coming, but it still stung.





	I’m still alive (but barely)

**Author's Note:**

> Look who chose to participate in Drarryland, this person did. Anyways, very excited to join the fest. 
> 
> CLASS/CATEGORY| Potions (Angst)  
> PROMPT: Rolled 9 - Prompt I "Lie to me then."  
> Maximum: 488 words.

Hogwarts had plenty of empty rooms to hide in. Harry, who had enough memories of sneaking in and out the corridors of the castle found that to be both pleasing and comforting. Somewhere between his years of fighting his whims and being realistic had produced the current shame he felt. It had been hard from having to deal with being the Boy-Who-Lived, and to Harry have in managed to wedge himself into contact with Draco Malfoy, and not in the usual kind. They had been insulting each other, but one day when they had met each other without a crowd his Gryffindor mouth did a number on him.

In midst their argument, Malfoy had told him to fuck himself. While Harry, himself had still been reeling in mixed emotions said the first thing that popped out of his brain: “Fuck me yourself you coward.”

Malfoy had paused, while Harry’s own face had gone too pale. It had been awkward in their shared silence, then unpleasant when Malfoy wanted Harry to repeat himself. He didn’t know how and why he decided to be cheeky that day, but they had ended up snogging. There was no romance in the way they kissed after that. Or in the way his neck got red where Malfoy bitten him. It hadn’t been the wisest thing to incite in his life, given he was sure that Malfoy’s family was not going to change sides just because of their impromptu rendezvouses.

Life didn’t work that way, he had fifteen years of experience from it. Their secret meetings had sucked out a part of him, because deep down, he knew nothing could come from it. Lust and romance were not the same things, and it had been harder to navigate them when they were still teenagers exploring their options. He still had been an idiot to ask if Malfoy would ever defect and maybe give them a real start. A happy beginning within their hellish lives they had to star in.

His face twisted. “Potter, it isn’t that easy.” The mood was going sour. Fast. “My mother would never leave my father’s side. And I couldn't— _won't_ leave hers.”

“Lie to me then.”

He needed to hear the opposite. Anything remotely close of them agreeing to have something more reliable. Constant. It didn’t come with the way Malfoy had pulled away from him. His own heart felt like it had been shredded into a million pieces.

“I can’t, Potter.”

And it looked like he had been right. They both couldn’t continue it, even if Harry desperately wanted to (love him).


End file.
